Issue 72 – Scoundrels

Bold selfish villain…
Aggregate Humanity,
a scoundrel defined.

By David Edwards

honour among thieves?
ask them to watch your treasure…
too soon it is gone!

By DJ Tyrer

merry Robin Hood
relieves you of your burden
bag of heavy gold

By Aeronwy Dafies

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Sheriff of Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire and the Royal Forests
By Cardinal Cox

Foris – outside, as in laws of the land
And I am placed, by royal will, in charge
Mine then is the appointed heavy hand
That directs the lowly yeomen at large

Yet I am defied by rogues and outlaws
Who lurk and ambush amongst Sherwood’s trees
Claiming they busy steal for they are so poor
If I catch them they will no more be free

Nottingham Castle and a short rough rope
Awaits the whole unkempt and motley gang
There will be no mercy for them, no hope
Remorse? Regrets? I will feel no such pang

The Hood? No one will remember his name
As liege to the crown I deserve the fame

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Nighttime Excursion
By K. A. Williams

Candles alight the hallways
Shadows dance on walls
Grand rooms await my presence

Flasks lay beside sleeping guards
Secret gifts from me
Witch’s potion worth the price

Glittering jewelry calls
Swag wrapped up in sheet
I slip out the castle doors

Mistake
By DJ Tyrer

Magical horns are worth a fortune, which is why we’d braved the hordes of rabid goblins and savage elves, plus customs agents, to bring back our quarry, to the city, alive.

Here,” I said, unveiling the beast.

That’s not a unicorn,” said the Dwarven ambassador, “that’s a rhino. Kill them!”

Ends

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Auto Graveyard
By Mark Hudson

I’m thinking about parking in the dark,
I’m thinking about cars from loan sharks.
I’m thinking about the used car salesman,
he is telling a lot of tall tales, man.
I’m thinking about the upholsteries,
I’m thinking about the ghost of these.
I’m seeing an auto graveyard,
I’m trying to be a brave heart.
The used car salesman is glowing,
the car he’s selling is towing.
Smoke is coming out of his ears,
his red face does not have cheer.
he says, “buy this car, now!”
but his offer I will not allow.
Headed for the streets, I walk,
I’m tired of the car salesman’s talk.
He dances over the river Styx,
and I’m not falling for his tricks.

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Dashing smuggler ally/friend
Hides you in cargo
Sells you to some aliens

By DS Davidson

The Obnoxious Adventures of Skepp “Too Easy” Grafflin
By Harris Coverley

I stole a rocket
Just yesterday
From orphans who
Were in my way

I split Phobos
As I ran
Meteor storm?
Don’t give a damn!

Smashed a dam on Mars
And then I fled
Flooded canals
Across the Great Red

Robbed a Martian bank
With a laser gat —
I iced three clerks
And stomped a cat

Disguised myself
As a man of creed
Got on a shuttle
To Ganymede

A frozen swamp
I had to leave —
Hijacked a starship
To the Pleiades

Dumped the cargo
On far Pluto
The crew on Styx
Their oxygen low

Faster-than-light
The cosmic ballet —
A life of crime
Up freedom alley

Too Easy” yeah
That’s the name —
And if you were me
You’d live the same!

Try to catch me
If you bastards can
System to system —
High on the lam!

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on ev’ry planet
same old story reoccurs
human treachery

By DJ Tyrer

Issue 71 – Lost Halls of Ancient Mountain Kings

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Postfuture King
By Harris Coverley

atomic bunker
very core of the mountain
the walls all whisper:
our genius has survived!”
all hail the King of Nothing!”

New Myths
By Aeronwy Dafies

In hidden bunker
Men made of metal slumber
Awaiting the call
Like Arthur in his cavern
Turning old myths into new

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Vault
By DJ Tyrer

Down damp corridors long devoid of light, deeper into the antiseptic fortress. Grey walls revealed by flickering torchlight, no guards from an elder age, no insects skittering, no strange monsters, just emptiness sealed for centuries.

Reach the vault, further heavy doors to prise open. Success. Strange white lights return to life, resume an unnatural, steady glow. Pause to marvel at the tomb.

Sword ready, yet still no threat, guards or demons, enter the vault, untouched by the ages, seeking treasure of such great value.

Locate it. Seeds. Tiny repositories of life, with which to rebuild the ravaged world. Perfect. Priceless.

Ends

Originally published in Drabble Harvest issue 15 (February 2020)

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The Hall of Mt. Rushmore King
By Mark Hudson

With America’ famous faces,
sculpted to the wall,
ghosts haunt these places,
the mountain king’s hall.

A gravelly road outside of Keystone,
leads to Mountain View Cemetery.
In a rotting grave of dead bones,
drift ghosts that are rather scary.

People see apparitions gliding at night,
ghostly workers rising from their graves.
The ghosts have given people a fright,
most people cannot be brave.

The mount was completed Halloween 1941,
and people stood there under a full moon.
Washington, Roosevelt, Lincoln, Jefferson,
their spirits guard over this ghostly ruin.

And although the spirits are tossing and turning,
The presidents spirits guard as if kings.
Will these spirits ever be returning?
It’s just among the world’s strangest things!

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Hidden Depths
By DS Davidson

In the hall of human-originated
Mutant bloodline ruler, far below
The recovering world, aeons on
Short and stunted beings plot
In concert with their computer god
Resume the war! Resume the war!”

Through ancient, lost chambers crawl
Expeditions seeking the magic words
To resurrect weapons of the gods
Send forth a second rain of fire
Scour the surface clean of life
Begin the cycle over anew…

Computatrum Regem
By Harris Coverley

beneath the mountain
megacomputer awaits
the final soldier —
broken he at last arrives…
but he’s forgot the passcode

the best laid plans of
men and machines — in the hall
of the mountain king

Issue 70 – Swords and Sorceries

swordsman faces foe
sorcerer weaving his spell
destiny awaits

By Aeronwy Dafies

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The Disgruntled Squire
By William Clunie

Sorry for your dead, m’lord, but life
is for the animate, the temporary
fortunate, and for now we’ll shuffle
on beyond the hill, our trail strewn
with eyeless skulls that one-time laughed
at scurvy jokes, that hold now not
a groat of wit, framed by bones
that might be fit to beat a drum;
a dirge of dreadful merriment….

…Alas, I’ll carry on, still carrying
your sword and lance, your shield
grimed with blood and tufts of gore,
trying to ignore the stark black bird
that haunts our trail, that chants
of nevermore, trying to ignore
your snarling demands, your orders barked;
do you know, m’lord, that even heroes
such as you must seek the desolation
of a deepest sleep? Perhaps I will fall lax
at nighttime guard and the wyvern
that do follow us will slip upon you
as you snore and send you to that vacant
fate whereto they sent so many of your brethren
just before. Those comrades in your arms,
most scurrilous they were, whipping
my poor soul for this and that, shall I pretend
at sorrow that they’re dead? You may cry,
Lord La-dee-da, you verray parfit gentil
knyght, in anguish at the loss of your companions,
but more vile they were than valiant, certes, Lord…

But I’ll go on, a minor figure in a blood-soaked
tale, continuing to play your confidant, your
chronicler, or when your errant knavery leads
to death of lord and churl I’ll become another
skull among the other skulls, a hollow carapace
for worms – but hark, my Lord, I hear
the creatures of the night come at us
for one more sweep, and will stand aside as you
swing your sword in all your doughty dignity
for this that might just be your final war…

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Sword and Spell
By DS Davidson

They will call him hero
Though he says he fights for coin
Not honour nor a cause
Regardless, the facts tell a tale
A terrible enchantment broken
A heartless necromancer slain
By guile as much as force of arms
Cutting short his final curse
Sword shattering spell
Saving a city from a cruel doom

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Temple Bruer
By Cardinal Cox

There’re whispers of what happens in the crypt
A skull mounted with silver upon it
Before which initiates soundly whipped
In thanks they sing praises once they’ve been hit

The old warriors brought such secrets home
Vile philosophies found in foreign lands
Such are heresies as declared by Rome
Here though they enact what’s been rightly banned

Baal Fomaat, they declaim the daemon’s name
And so is summoned, much against its will
For sinfulness of the flesh it is famed
Reluctantly grants wishes foul and I’ll

Sorceries conducted in sark of night
By those who wield great swords of righteous might

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Swords in the Dark
By DJ Tyrer

Within dark passageways chilling chants echo ominously, as much warning as guide. But, the brave band of warriors does not quail, striding instead deeper into the darkness.

Vile monstrosities warped from human flesh and dead things given vigour of unlife fall to blades of sword and axe as they fight their way through to the profane fane of some chthonic god.

Battle begins in earnest as masked and robed priests resist their incursion, but steel trumps madness.

The hierophant of the coven calls out to their god, but a knife to the back silences him before the portal opens. Victory.

Ends

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Blood for the Stone
By Harris Coverley

In the low lands of Cimmeria, a desolate expanse scarce of trees and close to the frontiers of the Border Kingdom, Saor made his way from place to forsaken place, hunting for a tip on who to rob next. Saor was a brigand, but, unlike most brigands, he was too unpleasant and scheming an individual to belong to a group of even them. He barely remembered his own mother, and had no warm memories outside of brief stops in bordellos. He lived purely to steal, and, if necessary, to murder.

It was in a tavern by a burnt out patch of oak trees that it was told to him by a merchant heading east of a village named Cloch and, upon a nearby hill, of Kil-Carraig, who lived in a strange cottage of unusual stone while the villagers below him lived in wooden huts. Kil-Carraig had long ago been a pirate on the ships that had pillaged and plundered the islands off Zingara down to the Black Coast and back, amassing a great personal fortune that had guaranteed him a comfortable old age now that his bones were spent. His weird dwelling was a source of rumour for miles around, namely that the former swashbuckler had carved it from some gorgon he had slain. Kil-Carraig himself was regarded as cursed, and most steered clear of him when he made rare trips beyond his home.

None of this disheartened Saor. He had no heart to do such a thing to. He set off at once over the rocky scrub, and within a day he had reached the village of Cloch, wherein the inhabitants reluctantly gave direction to Kil-Carraig’s cottage.

High on a bare hill, Saor, dressed as the pilgrim he often pretended to be for his victims, came across the bizarre site of a structure of carved silver stone, consisting of two blocks, the smaller to the left of where he had stopped to look. There were no windows as such, but several slits to let in light.

Saor went up to the small oak door in the larger block and knocked. It was answered by an ailing man, doubtlessly Kil-Carraig himself. Saor could see upon his browned skin the scars of many battles, and a look in his eyes of weariness. He had the aura of a man no longer fit for any strife—that was, for Saor, an ideal target.

The old man asked Saor who he was and without saying a word, the brigand showed him the ring on his middle finger. It immediately conveyed to Kil-Carraig that he was a worshipper of Ishtar, the Earth goddess of healing, and travelling on a pilgrimage from the far north to the southern lands of Shem, as many Ishtarites did. Without further ado, Kil-Carraig let Saor in, and made clear his intent to feed the pilgrim ready for his continuing journey tomorrow. Saor had been right to gamble that the aging pirate had become more pious as he neared death.

Saor sat at the table in the larger block, also seemingly carved from the same rock as the cottage.

As soon as the old man placed the finely gilded knife and fork before him in preparation for his meal, Saor, at an experienced and ruthless speed, grabbed the former and with a brutal force ripped it across his host’s neck in a single swipe.

The old man stood in shock, grasping at the wheezing incision, the blood streaming down his smock. Saor pushed him back, and he fell flat upon the solid floor, before turning over and twisting into the shape of an unborn child. Within another a moment he quivered one last time and was dead, Saor confirming it with a kick.

Saor pilfered the rings from the corpse’s cooling fingers as a pool of blood formed and became calm, darkening in the stale air. Saor wiped the knife clean on the dead man’s smock and pocketed it with the fork. He then began to search the whole cottage from top to bottom. Within minutes the hidden pockets of his garments were so full of trinkets and coins that he had to use one of the old man’s leather satchels to hold further booty.

However, as he was inspecting underneath Kil-Carraig’s bed, his joyous sacking was interrupted by a strange creaking.

Saor immediately got to his feet, his dagger drawn.

He came back slowly into the main room of the block where the body was, and looked about. The creaking came again, and he shouted, “Where are you?! Show yourselves you creeping pigs!”

A cold chill went through him—what if the old man was still alive?

His eyes shot to the body—no, the old man, already stiff in life, was solid with mortality.

But, Saor noticed a curious thing: the pool of blood had disappeared. He stood above where it had been, and saw a slender crack in the silver stone. Taking a thumb, he rubbed against the old man’s ripped neck, and flicked a spot of fresh crimson to the floor. It landed near the crack and Saor watched it like a ravenous cat watched a field mouse.

The droplet was at first inert, tranquil, but as the seconds passed it began to bend in the light, and sluggishly it made its way across the surface, entering the crack as though it had made a conscious choice to do so. As it disappeared, the house creaked louder than before; in fact, it groaned like a wounded beast.

The blood, thought Saor, recalling the old tales drunken woodsmen told around dying fires. The gorgon… the vitality of the stone…

Saor screamed as the walls suddenly started to contort, and the house as a whole began to shrink into itself with a terrible and unceasing lamentation.

He ran to the door, but in the way it was shrinking with the house the shattered wood crumpled over itself, trapping him in. He tried the slits, but as they themselves shrivelled he could not even fit his head through. Retreating to the middle of the dwindling room, he beat and thrashed Kil-Carraig’s body as though he was the one responsible.

As the stone closed against his shoulders, Saor put his hands to the ceiling and begged the gods themselves for forgiveness, before his screams became louder than the undead gorgon’s howling, and filled the valley below, ending with a sharp, final cut of sound.

It is said these days that if you ascend the hills near Cloch you will find several unusual stone cubes, ranging from a foot to a few feet high, the largest of which having a skeletal hand poking up through a crevice in the apex, the immovable ring of Ishtar on its middle finger.

Ends

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Yggdrasil of Adasam Sortie at the Salt Sea
By Wendy Webb

Millennia have been spent in Hades,
Where Yggdrasil’s tree is rooted upside-down.
For this is the light zone beyond the sun,
Where magma flows free and belches rarely
Into the dark round earth.
I’m climbing now, the hard way,
Clanking those chains I’m Scrooge to part with,
Except nothing hurries my flight back
To gestating rock and sinews of my world.
I’m birthing after this long haunting trip,
Remembering that last time, when chains
Of armour plate and swords and shields
Rang across the valley to the living sea.
Salt phantoms now, across that ocean floor,
I long to sense those branches spreading down.
The thin sky’s hiding lizards, snakes and deities
Harping on about feather-light breath
Vanquishing our legion. Didn’t they hear
Plots of women, children, grown men crying.
Beyond the roots of sky to understand.
This ancient ruin’s nothing now: hanging
Palaces, richly draped like grapevines;
Wine flowed free.
I’m climbing now, so light as lava spreading,
Black sand of darkest deep leaps high
With fire. Soon these rocks will sink,
Buried with our legion. Salt markers – all –
ADASAM will sink beside its deepest Salt Sea.

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The Blind Warrior
Seven foes ready their spears
Seven fall unseen

By DJ Tyrer

Issue 69 – Rifts

We travel in Time and Space.
Find rift between them…
journey anywhere and when.

By David Edwards

Portal between worlds
Momentary opening
Fissure then closes
What went through – both ways – now trapped
Unable to return home

By Aeronwy Dafies

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Shifting
By K. A. Williams

One second here,
next second there.
A brand new place,
out of thin air.

It all looks strange,
the grass is blue.
How I got here,
I have no clue.

I can’t go back,
the rift has shut.
And then I see
a light grey mutt.

It walks my way
and talks to me.
“You don’t fit in,
who might you be?”

I say, “I’m Chris.
How do you do?”
“Oh, I’m all right.
My name is Drew.”

He changes form,
becomes a man.
“Well, that’s a first,”
I say deadpan.

“Can I return
to where I was?”
He shook his head.
“I know this ’cause,

I’ve tried before,
I can’t get back.
I sure do miss
my own wolf pack.”

“You can shape-shift.”
He nods. “That’s true.
Can you believe
I’m from Earth too.”

“We can escape,
I see a light.”
I say to him,
“I know I’m right.”

We step back through,
to where we were.
The wolf runs fast
till he’s a blur.

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Gate between two worlds
Strange things pass through unnoticed
Carry home a snack

By DJ Tyrer

DJ Tyrer’s website is at https://djtyrer.blogspot.co.uk/

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Portal to Purgatorio
By Mark Hudson

Let’s go to Purgatorio
through a narrow door.
We’ll eat an Oreo,
we’ll cook a S’more.

We’ll commit a vice,
and call it a virtue.
We’ll do it twice,
and claim it’s new.

We’ll read an allegory,
guided by Virgil.
Beatrice tells the story,
and Winston Churchill.

We’ll go to the Island Shore,
and we’ll see Gilligan.
The skipper is on tour,
he looks like a gorilla man.

Down to the Casella,
to the north of Tiber.
Who sings about Stella?
Maybe Justin Bieber.

The troubadour of Sordello,
is from Mantua.
He is in bordellos,
with vices gargantuan.

Free will is discussed,
with Marco Lombardo.
Lucille Ball fussed
over Ricky Ricardo.

We go through the terraces
of the seven deadly sins.
Nothing embarrasses,
but you leave with a grin.

After going through the portals,
you arrive Monday morning.
Back to work as a mortal,
and nothing is more boring.

The paradise was lost,
but you won’t find it here.
The closest you’ll get,
is a case full of beer.

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Rifts
By DJ Tyrer

Not your standard, stable
Back-of-a-wardrobe portal
Linking two worlds like a bridge
But, a sudden, violent rip
Tearing a rift from one to another
Two times, places, dimensions, states
Bemused travellers step through
Lost in a world not their own
Monsters surge through, hungry
To cause chaos, kill
Magic leaks, or strange matter penetrates
Only for it to close
As if it never were

Rapture/Rupture
By Harris Coverley

breaking into hell
tentacles burning in light
blue-blue-green-green Earth —
not at all suitable for
ninth dimensional beings

Issue 68 – Dropship Troopers

The troops are ready
Long live our God emperor!
Let the anthem play

By Nieske den Heijer

terror out of space
not alien invaders
but human troopers

By Aeronwy Dafies

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Drop From Orbit
By DS Davidson

We ride the atmosphere
Down from orbit
Dropships filled with troops
Buffeted by the thickening air
And retro-rockets’ blast
That slam into the ground
We debark still dazed from impact
Firing wildly at anything
That isn’t a friendly
Return fire batters our armour
Nigh as thick as a tank’s
Artificial servo-muscles tighten
Providing speed and strength
Overwhelming the enemy
In terms of morale and militarily
We stride across the surface
Personifications of our God
Emperor of all space
Deities of adamantium
Lacking compassion and the capacity
To fail in our appointed task

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Mal Galeef
By Harris Coverley

The poet said:

colonial troop
man and alien alike
assigned enemy —
fighting for Old Earth’s empire
that drive for cosmic conquest

The soldier replied:

my name is Galeef
first name Malko — Phobos-born
and on Deimos raised —
my true battles internal
I am much still my own man

The poet replied:

you are empire’s tool
imperial policeman —
a blood-soaked unit
whether blood is red or green
you still take your pay and drink

The solider replied:

yes this soldier drinks
and so would you if you’d seen
the things that I’ve seen —
don’t ramble proudly poet
no gun but I have my fists!

The poet replied:

that is all you have:
the threat of force against those
who stand in your way —
distilled into the one beast:
xenocidal human race

The solider replied:

I obey orders
for that is my sworn duty
I am a rough man —
I am so on your behalf —
something you don’t understand!

rough and ready men
visit violence on the dark
so you can sleep sound

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On A Far and Distant World
By DJ Tyrer

In the lantern-light of bioluminescent cells
And the glow of a raging firmament,
A hero locks and loads his weapon,
Closing his polished-silver visor:
A fusillade of fragmentation shells
Clears his way of opposition;
H.E. blasts an entranceway.

Black armour like a beetle learnt to walk upright
Gives humanity’s saviour an alien anonymity.

Scuttling horrors of unearthly physiology appear
From all directions at once, overpowering
The hero, despite his rapid fire
And deadly, whirling blades:
Inhuman ichors mix with all-too-human blood
Creating unsettling swirls
With a soundtrack of pain.

Still twitching, not quite lifeless, dragged off
To provide a host in the birthing chamber…

Originally published in Handshake

It is almost time.
Who are we fighting today?
Never mind, let’s go!

By Nieske den Heijer

Issue 67 – Fantastic Weather

Bronze
By Harris Coverley

skies bronze—thick and dense
an arenose alloy world
foundries in the clouds
drizzling down sharp flakes of death
upon luckless astronauts

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There are ghosts within that wind:
shouts through distant trees;
the siren screams of phone wires;
object disrespect –
children’s toys and neighbour’s tools;
upon our own porch
unoccupied chair rocking…
window pane whispers…
the unhinged door opening,
then closing behind,
some guests you’ve not invited.

By David Edwards

Snow Queen
By Aeronwy Dafies

Frozen beauty, heart
Mistress of the icy north
Hidden by snowfall
Wishes only to be loved
Ever thwarted by herself

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Fairy Tale
By Ken Poyner

The clouds are painted, but the moon polished. As the clouds keep drifting away, the painters tape off another section of sky. They consult on the particular hue for this tranche – are they depicting a seamless day of invincible uniformity, or portraying change, the beginning of darker or lighter or more entertaining days? There is no question with the moon. The moon circles unchanging. The phases come of big brother Earth stealing the moon’s sun. Polish it once, occasionally inspect for touch-up. The girl bonds to this work with energy to waste. It profits me: I have slept with her.

Ends

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The Truck in Oz
By K. A. Williams

The whirlwind lifted up me and my truck and sailed us through the air. I ain’t never been so sick to my stomach.

When the wind finally set us down, the truck bumped over something and took off. I heard yelling and looked in the rear view mirror at a bunch of midgets shaking their little fists. Something white and sparkly glittered on the road behind me. That must have been what I’d landed on. Wonder what it was?

Nothing seemed familiar. I didn’t think I was in my hometown anymore. Was that a scarecrow hanging up in a cornfield? Yep it was. And it turned its head to look at me as I passed. Creepy.

If I hadn’t been staring at the tin man standing in front of a tree with his axe frozen in mid-air, I might not have hit the lion that ran out into the road in front of me. But honestly I couldn’t stop the truck in time.

SMACK! I got out and checked the beast. Dead. I examined the road I’d been on. First time I ever seen one made out of yellow bricks. I drug the lion into the woods and covered it with leaves and some twigs.

I was fixing to get back in my truck when I noticed something in the sky. Was that a witch coming toward me on a broom? Yep. Ugliest woman I done ever seen. Just my type. I took off my cowboy hat when she landed in front of me. “Howdy ma’am.”

“Are you the one that killed my sister?”

Uh-oh. “Did she have on a sparkly white dress?”

“Yes.”

“Why ma’am it were an accident. My truck and me got picked up by a whirlwind that just sat us down where it pleased. I’m awful sorry.”

She smiled. It were a gruesome sight, my heart pounded in excitement.

“Don’t be sorry, I never liked her.”

“Is that right? How about giving me a reward then?”

“What kind of reward?”

“A kiss. That’s all I want. For now, anyway.” I winked.

She smiled again. “Well, what are you waiting on?”

I moved closer and kissed her. What we done after that ain’t nobody else’s business.

The End

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Weather Report
By Ken Poyner

The clouds kept coming down, kissing our ground. At first, the clouds simply touched down. Then they began to compact. They grew dense and it became hard to move about in them. It was as though trudging through water thigh deep, with the mist of clouds above. Finally, the tops of the clouds passed below eye level, and there was the sun. The clouds, still compacting, settled so low and hard that we could lift our feet out and walk on a macadam made of cloud alone. Nothing blocked the sun and we thought fearfully of the coming rainy season.

Ends

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Tornado From Oz
By DJ Tyrer

In reverse scenario
Twister spirals over the rainbow
Depositing a bemused witch
And a dozen irritating Munchkins
Atop a bland Kansas-dwelling farmer
Resulting in lawsuits, insurance claims
But – no quests, nor murder
Just a great deal of confusion
And, unending asylum claims

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Tornado
By Mark Hudson

The tornado was haemorrhaging
Over dim skies and towns
Thinning out the herd

Cutting through, reaping
Damaged nation, nothing new
Soon it will be old news

Houses demolished
An entire town laid flat
People sucked out of mobile homes

A jail in Kentucky affected
But nobody was able to escape
Not fair to the prisoners

Blonde haired blue eyed girl
Found abandoned in a field
Returned to her parents

Why do we question mortality?
We laugh at death
Till it’s our turn to go…

Issue 66 – Invasion!

The Mirror World
By Mark Hudson

Here we come, invading ourselves,
the human race, and a whole bunch of elves.
We’re coming from an alternate universe,
where everything is happening in reverse.

In America, what happened to Biden?
From the depths of the ocean, comes the Poseidon!
The dead passengers have come back to life,
they are zombies, and they are looking for wives!

Who’s the president? Back to George,
he is crossing the Valley Forge!
An alternative universe mixed with time travel,
judgment day, and the banging of the gavel.

The bubonic plague makes Covid look mild,
every senior citizen shrinks to a child.
Some crazy aliens must be in charge,
and here in a spaceship is grandmother Marge.

I’m the last man on Earth, or am I wrong?
Out of the jungle, arrives King Kong.
He grabs my girlfriend, makes her squeal,
then he trips over a banana peel.

This is the end, the worst invasion,
I won’t be able to survive the duration.
This is 2023; I can’t take any more,
the only thing worse will be 2024!

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Dust bunnies
By Nieske den Heijer

I settle behind the couch, trying to ignore the dust bunnies that have accumulated over time. A vacuum cleaner is too loud, and every time I exit from this hiding spot I forget about the dirt. The relief of still being in my own home and checking if all my friends are still here always takes priority over cleaning, followed by foraging for food and water.

The dust is a nice thing to keep my mind from wandering to the creatures that walk the streets outside. I can hear the squish that their tentacles make across the pavement, the humm of their floating vehicles and sometimes the screams of the people who did not hide well enough.

The television springs to life by itself, and plays the message of the invaders. They make famous people say how the earth was dying and the aliens are here to save us. A refuge has been set up on the moon, where we will be housed and taken care of. Then the earth can recover for a generation or two, and then our descendants can return to a better world.

I close my eyes and think of beaches, yoga and pineapple juice. Anything to drown out the lies, I will not allow their words to take root in my mind as that’s how they get you. I just wait until they go away, it feels like the safest option.

My thoughts return to memories of going to the beach. Involuntarily I take a deep breath and suck up some of the dust. Frantically I claw at my nose; a sneeze could give me away to those outside. I have no intention of finding out if they tell the truth. I am happy here, in my house, behind the couch. Here I know I am safe, there should be enough food to last me a few more weeks. I hold on to the hope that there must be a human army assembling out there somewhere to kick these invaders off our planet, there must be a liberation force.

The sounds pass my house, I get to stay on Earth for another day. I get up, dust myself off and let out a series of nice and loud sneezes. Time to find out where I left my broom.

Ends

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The Secret Invasion of Plants
By Harris Coverley

What could it have been? Starborn invasion or mere Terran mutation? Or something even more curious maybe? It just struck me as strange: walking along that night to hear that bizarre whining noise coming from the garden of that neighbour up the hill. I leaned in with ear and eye—the plant was whistling a metallic whistle!

Set against the redbrick of the terrace, a thin velvet green strand with wide flat olive spades of leaves, arranged in a step-by-step ladder, and yet engaging in a relay!

Did…did the people inside know? Were they aware? Were they stupid, insane, deaf, deafblind, mute to cry out for the danger? I could even see it shaking, vibrating with energy, its leaves twitching and humming…

What was it trying to communicate? And to whom? “Hello?” I asked it more than I greeted—but I got nothing back but that constant tinning buzz, continuous to a fault…

I walked on—had I been mistaken? Just fuzzed with white wine? If only I had known…if only I could have acted…put the word about…made a real stink…we perhaps could have today escaped from being under the foot of the plants, or should I rather say, under their roots

Out of deep space came the Green Dawn, and the end of the Age of Flesh…

Ends

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Zaffre
By Christopher Hivner

The sky had never been such a deep shade of blue. It was unnatural, as if the black of night were bleeding through. There had been explosions in most of the major cities and people thought it was the end of the world. Rumours started dancing around that Iran or North Korea had launched nukes. The soap-box preachers bellowed “apocalypse” and all the survivalists sprinted for the hills.

The sky wasn’t right, but it didn’t seem like the end to me. I gathered my family close to stay in our house. We didn’t run, we didn’t fight, just watched and waited. Maybe that was the stupidest thing of all to do.

When night fell nothing changed. The sky was still a lunging blue, like someone had jabbed a pen into it and emptied the ink on fabric. There were no stars, and the moon was a hazy shadow of its normal self. There were no clouds either. The sky was empty, a stately, dark shade of nothing.

No one could sleep. We didn’t have day or night anymore, just blue. After a week of restless hours my wife locked herself and the children in the attic. Through the thin wall I heard my son bleating my name and Joanne repeating the same phrase over and over: “They only want Jeff. They only want Jeff.”

The neighbours stopped interacting. They would only talk to me through a crack in the door or a window screen. Paranoia was taking over. None of us understood what was going on and some weren’t taking any chances. It turned out all the fear in the world wasn’t going to save them.

This afternoon I received a message in my brain. I was sitting on my porch when a sharp pain pierced my forehead. I dropped to my knees and vomited on myself, but when the feeling was gone it caused an awakening. I remembered who I was.

In my bathroom hidden in a secret compartment behind the medicine cabinet I found a knife made of a metallic alloy not found on Earth. I used this knife to flay off my human skin and reveal my true form. There are others like me all over the world doing the same.

My people altered the chemical composition of the Earth’s atmosphere to hide our ships. Everything is in position now so it’s time to begin. My wife and children will be first. Just sit tight, we’ll get to you.

Ends

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Portal
By DJ Tyrer

Mystic portal opens
The veil drawn back
By strange cosmic forces
Unknown to man
Mythical beasts
Wander through
Strange horrors seeking prey
Dark Lords greedily eye Earth
But none understand
The portal is two-way
A strike force is ready
Takes the battle through

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Issue 65 – Heroic Quests

The most Heroic
Quest of them all… seeking the
Next World from this One.

By David Edwards

Hero and Villain
By Harris Coverley

it is time to shout—
it is time to raise a sword—
it is time to march
into the bleaker regions
and fell that darkened tower

I can hear your shout
and I can hear your sword clink—
how silly it is
to think you can vanquish me!
this serpent’s tail awaits you

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In the slipstream of twilight
a sailor adrift the silent seas
his eyes are set on muted lands
the imperceptible realm
behind the water’s skies.

By Goran Lowie

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Healing Flower
By K. A. Williams

“Here’s your brother’s sword.
Be careful around the elves,
they do not like us.”

I followed the path,
and met an elf warrior.
“A puny human.”

I said, “Let me pass!
I seek the healing flower,
my brother is sick.”

“I care not for him,
do not trespass on our land.”
I unsheathed my sword.

“You do show spirit.
Perhaps I have misjudged you,
proceed with your quest.”

I sheathed my sword then.
“I don’t suppose you could help?”
The elf pointed left.

“Thank you very much.”
There were a lot of flowers;
a white bunch stood out.

I knelt and grabbed one.
The elf nodded as I passed.
I hurried back home.

“I’ve got the flower!”
Mother prepared the potion;
my brother survived.

Discover K. A Williams on Facebook

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Quest’s End
By DJ Tyrer

Holding in their hand
Salvation or destruction
Make the decision

Discover DJ Tyrer on Facebook

Issue 64 – Krampus Night

The Horns
By Harris Coverley

underneath the tree
bloody footprints – no presents!
Krampus strikes again!
that dark knight of Christmastide –
naughty-judged forevermore!

Must be Krampus
By Cardinal Cox

(with apologies to H. Moore & B. Fredericks and any other Schnitzelbank adapters)

Who has tiny shiny hooves?
Who scampers up on roofs?
Who carries heavy chains and whips?
Who brands liars on their lips?
Who punishes naughty kids?
Who bangs all the dustbin lids?
Who is armed with twigs of birch?
Who sees you if you flirt in church?
Who turns the milkmaids mad?
Who’s got servants just as bad?
Chatterer, Batterer, Clatterer and Snips
Gobbler, Wobbler, Hobbler and Chips
Shiny hooves, up on roofs
Chains and whips, brands liar’s lips
Punishes kids, dustbin lids
Twigs of birch, flirt in church
Turns milkmaids mad, servants as bad
Chatterer, Batterer, Clatterer and Snips
Gobbler, Wobbler, Hobbler and Chips
Must be Krampus
Must be Krampus
Must be Krampus
On Krampusnacht !

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Krampus versus Santa Claus
By Mark Hudson

Santa Claus appears in the ice so frozen,
Krampus appears in his lederhosen.
Santa receives a warm cup of milk,
Krampus looks for presents to bilk.

Santa Claus has a bunch of reindeer,
Krampus likes to wear brassiere.
Santa Claus brings presents on a sleigh,
Krampus is looking for reindeer to slay.

Santa Claus has a big belly button,
Krampus likes to chomp on some mutton.
Santa Claus lives way in the North Pole,
Krampus is a terrible soul.

Santa Claus grants children’s wishes,
Krampus makes children suspicious.
Santa Claus has bright red cheeks,
Krampus is one among many freaks.

Santa takes trips to Fort Lauderdale,
Krampis makes frequent visits to jail.
Santa Claus is loved by kindergarteners,
Krampus goes to court and has no pardoners.

Santa Claus climbs up on people’s roof,
Krampus is crushed by reindeer’s hoof.
Santa Claus has a reindeer named Rudolph,
Krampus sort of resembles Adolph.

Santa is Jolly, Krampus is folly,
Krampus looks like Salvador Dali.
Santa checks all the children’s lists,
when Krampus dies, he won’t be missed.

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I Remember
By Nieske den Heijer

It is Christmas and again I am forced into the horrible red suit with the fur lining. After all these years it still does not fit me well and the fake beard itches. But I endure it, as I feel my wait is almost over. Most people have forgotten my name, my face and my purpose. But I have never forgotten, deep down I remember who I am.

The new guise humanity has bestowed on me is infuriating; rewarding the good is admirable but I feel forced to reward the naughty as well. I can already hear the tantrums; mostly children who believe they are owed more than they deserve. The child who thinks the thirty gifts are not enough. The teenager who is already complaining on social media because they got a white tablet and not a pink one. The spouse who wanted a diamond necklace but only got a diamond ring and will now not speak to their betrothed for the rest of the season. Each of their cries flows through me and gives me strength.

Soon you will all invite me in for the gift-giving, unaware of who I really am. You see a jolly old man with his sack full of presents. But I am Krampus and I look forward to dragging you all into the deep, dark forests. Just like the old days, I am looking forward to it.

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misleading Christmas
behind the stockings and gifts
Krampus stalks the dark

By Aeronwy Dafies

Issue 63 – Space Cruise

Space Cruise
By DS Davidson

Going where no man has gone before
In such luxurious accommodation
Discovering strange new worlds
Filled with tourist traps
Roaming the galaxy
Without danger or daring
Bringing home crates
Of tacky souvenirs

Ex-X Prize Experience
By Cardinal Cox

There’s only ten thousand things to go wrong
Tons of high explosive fuel underneath
Earth far below will cue the caged bird’s song
Grip your jaw to stop chattering teeth

Then you’re too busy to think about fear
On flame you climb into vacuum of space
If you go up to orbit twice a year
Still think about wreckage scattered round place

That mere moments ago you were launched from
Once you’re up and passengers get their thrills
You have to turn around this flying bomb
Re-entry scrabbling to add to its kills

At any time you’re one inch from dying
Yet fools are queuing up to go flying

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Squawking Goose
By K. A. Williams

Did you hear the rumours that there are space pirates in this sector?” the woman with the sparkling diamond necklace asked me in the dining room while I was filling my plate with choice items from the buffet table.

I’m sure the captain and crew know how to deal with space pirates. This isn’t their first cruise; they travel this area all the time,” I said just before the ship rocked and we heard a loud boom.

This is the captain,” said a voice on the intercom. “Everything is fine. But it might be better if everyone would go to their rooms and stay for just a little while.”

Belay that order, me fine passengers,” said a different voice. “This is Captain Tanbeard. I humbly request ye presence in the dining room for a wee chat.”

The woman with the diamond necklace took it off quickly and hid it under the coffee pot. Other people started hiding their jewelry out of sight as well.

Captain Tanbeard swept into the room and bowed to the ladies. He was dressed like pirates of olden days, sword and all. I laughed until he pointed his sword at me. “If you don’t find me some treasure lad, I’ll be taking ye with me as a cabin boy, even if you’re a bit too old.”

I didn’t need any more persuasion and quickly pointed out all the jewelry that the women and men had hidden.

Much obliged,” he said to me while the other passengers glared.

***

A week later the Squawking Goose docked at the space station. I was glad to get off the ship. Everyone blamed me for the loss of their jewelry, but I knew the items were insured because I’d overheard some of them talking about it.

The bar closest to the docks had rough customers that stared at me when I entered but only for a second before they turned back to their conversations.

A hand clapped my shoulder and I turned to see Captain Tanbeard, sans pirate disguise. He handed me my share and a ticket. “See you in two weeks, son.”

The End

http://amazon.com/author/a.williams

https://www.amazon.com/author/k.williams

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The Neptune Adventure
By DJ Tyrer

Spaceship in Neptunian orbit
Capsized by solar storm
Flipped upside down
Thanks to artificial gravity
Nobody notices nor cares

Originally published on Grievous Angel

https://djtyrer.blogspot.com/

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Planetary Unsanitary
By Mark Hudson

From Dawn till Dusk,
climb aboard with Elon Musk.
Play a little backgammon,
with James Cameron.

Come aboard with William Shatner,
in search of the ghost of Gilda Radner.
We might even find John Belushi,
sitting on Mars eating some Sushi.

It’s your intergalactic celebrity cruise,
All you have to do is pay your dues.
Do it before you get too old,
outer space never been so cold!

Are you enjoying shuffleboard?
Oh wait, passenger overboard!
Your wife just slipped away into space!
We got tired of seeing her face!

We are starting to go into orbit,
reading books by Scott Corbett.
We get attacked by asteroids,
the captain has bad hemorrhoids.

We might not make it back to earth,
we won’t be pulling into our berth.
Hope you can hold on for a minute,
you are going into space infinite!