Issue 72 – Scoundrels

Bold selfish villain…
Aggregate Humanity,
a scoundrel defined.

By David Edwards

honour among thieves?
ask them to watch your treasure…
too soon it is gone!

By DJ Tyrer

merry Robin Hood
relieves you of your burden
bag of heavy gold

By Aeronwy Dafies

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Sheriff of Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire and the Royal Forests
By Cardinal Cox

Foris – outside, as in laws of the land
And I am placed, by royal will, in charge
Mine then is the appointed heavy hand
That directs the lowly yeomen at large

Yet I am defied by rogues and outlaws
Who lurk and ambush amongst Sherwood’s trees
Claiming they busy steal for they are so poor
If I catch them they will no more be free

Nottingham Castle and a short rough rope
Awaits the whole unkempt and motley gang
There will be no mercy for them, no hope
Remorse? Regrets? I will feel no such pang

The Hood? No one will remember his name
As liege to the crown I deserve the fame

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Nighttime Excursion
By K. A. Williams

Candles alight the hallways
Shadows dance on walls
Grand rooms await my presence

Flasks lay beside sleeping guards
Secret gifts from me
Witch’s potion worth the price

Glittering jewelry calls
Swag wrapped up in sheet
I slip out the castle doors

Mistake
By DJ Tyrer

Magical horns are worth a fortune, which is why we’d braved the hordes of rabid goblins and savage elves, plus customs agents, to bring back our quarry, to the city, alive.

Here,” I said, unveiling the beast.

That’s not a unicorn,” said the Dwarven ambassador, “that’s a rhino. Kill them!”

Ends

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Auto Graveyard
By Mark Hudson

I’m thinking about parking in the dark,
I’m thinking about cars from loan sharks.
I’m thinking about the used car salesman,
he is telling a lot of tall tales, man.
I’m thinking about the upholsteries,
I’m thinking about the ghost of these.
I’m seeing an auto graveyard,
I’m trying to be a brave heart.
The used car salesman is glowing,
the car he’s selling is towing.
Smoke is coming out of his ears,
his red face does not have cheer.
he says, “buy this car, now!”
but his offer I will not allow.
Headed for the streets, I walk,
I’m tired of the car salesman’s talk.
He dances over the river Styx,
and I’m not falling for his tricks.

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Dashing smuggler ally/friend
Hides you in cargo
Sells you to some aliens

By DS Davidson

The Obnoxious Adventures of Skepp “Too Easy” Grafflin
By Harris Coverley

I stole a rocket
Just yesterday
From orphans who
Were in my way

I split Phobos
As I ran
Meteor storm?
Don’t give a damn!

Smashed a dam on Mars
And then I fled
Flooded canals
Across the Great Red

Robbed a Martian bank
With a laser gat —
I iced three clerks
And stomped a cat

Disguised myself
As a man of creed
Got on a shuttle
To Ganymede

A frozen swamp
I had to leave —
Hijacked a starship
To the Pleiades

Dumped the cargo
On far Pluto
The crew on Styx
Their oxygen low

Faster-than-light
The cosmic ballet —
A life of crime
Up freedom alley

Too Easy” yeah
That’s the name —
And if you were me
You’d live the same!

Try to catch me
If you bastards can
System to system —
High on the lam!

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on ev’ry planet
same old story reoccurs
human treachery

By DJ Tyrer

Issue 70 – Swords and Sorceries

swordsman faces foe
sorcerer weaving his spell
destiny awaits

By Aeronwy Dafies

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The Disgruntled Squire
By William Clunie

Sorry for your dead, m’lord, but life
is for the animate, the temporary
fortunate, and for now we’ll shuffle
on beyond the hill, our trail strewn
with eyeless skulls that one-time laughed
at scurvy jokes, that hold now not
a groat of wit, framed by bones
that might be fit to beat a drum;
a dirge of dreadful merriment….

…Alas, I’ll carry on, still carrying
your sword and lance, your shield
grimed with blood and tufts of gore,
trying to ignore the stark black bird
that haunts our trail, that chants
of nevermore, trying to ignore
your snarling demands, your orders barked;
do you know, m’lord, that even heroes
such as you must seek the desolation
of a deepest sleep? Perhaps I will fall lax
at nighttime guard and the wyvern
that do follow us will slip upon you
as you snore and send you to that vacant
fate whereto they sent so many of your brethren
just before. Those comrades in your arms,
most scurrilous they were, whipping
my poor soul for this and that, shall I pretend
at sorrow that they’re dead? You may cry,
Lord La-dee-da, you verray parfit gentil
knyght, in anguish at the loss of your companions,
but more vile they were than valiant, certes, Lord…

But I’ll go on, a minor figure in a blood-soaked
tale, continuing to play your confidant, your
chronicler, or when your errant knavery leads
to death of lord and churl I’ll become another
skull among the other skulls, a hollow carapace
for worms – but hark, my Lord, I hear
the creatures of the night come at us
for one more sweep, and will stand aside as you
swing your sword in all your doughty dignity
for this that might just be your final war…

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Sword and Spell
By DS Davidson

They will call him hero
Though he says he fights for coin
Not honour nor a cause
Regardless, the facts tell a tale
A terrible enchantment broken
A heartless necromancer slain
By guile as much as force of arms
Cutting short his final curse
Sword shattering spell
Saving a city from a cruel doom

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Temple Bruer
By Cardinal Cox

There’re whispers of what happens in the crypt
A skull mounted with silver upon it
Before which initiates soundly whipped
In thanks they sing praises once they’ve been hit

The old warriors brought such secrets home
Vile philosophies found in foreign lands
Such are heresies as declared by Rome
Here though they enact what’s been rightly banned

Baal Fomaat, they declaim the daemon’s name
And so is summoned, much against its will
For sinfulness of the flesh it is famed
Reluctantly grants wishes foul and I’ll

Sorceries conducted in sark of night
By those who wield great swords of righteous might

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Swords in the Dark
By DJ Tyrer

Within dark passageways chilling chants echo ominously, as much warning as guide. But, the brave band of warriors does not quail, striding instead deeper into the darkness.

Vile monstrosities warped from human flesh and dead things given vigour of unlife fall to blades of sword and axe as they fight their way through to the profane fane of some chthonic god.

Battle begins in earnest as masked and robed priests resist their incursion, but steel trumps madness.

The hierophant of the coven calls out to their god, but a knife to the back silences him before the portal opens. Victory.

Ends

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Blood for the Stone
By Harris Coverley

In the low lands of Cimmeria, a desolate expanse scarce of trees and close to the frontiers of the Border Kingdom, Saor made his way from place to forsaken place, hunting for a tip on who to rob next. Saor was a brigand, but, unlike most brigands, he was too unpleasant and scheming an individual to belong to a group of even them. He barely remembered his own mother, and had no warm memories outside of brief stops in bordellos. He lived purely to steal, and, if necessary, to murder.

It was in a tavern by a burnt out patch of oak trees that it was told to him by a merchant heading east of a village named Cloch and, upon a nearby hill, of Kil-Carraig, who lived in a strange cottage of unusual stone while the villagers below him lived in wooden huts. Kil-Carraig had long ago been a pirate on the ships that had pillaged and plundered the islands off Zingara down to the Black Coast and back, amassing a great personal fortune that had guaranteed him a comfortable old age now that his bones were spent. His weird dwelling was a source of rumour for miles around, namely that the former swashbuckler had carved it from some gorgon he had slain. Kil-Carraig himself was regarded as cursed, and most steered clear of him when he made rare trips beyond his home.

None of this disheartened Saor. He had no heart to do such a thing to. He set off at once over the rocky scrub, and within a day he had reached the village of Cloch, wherein the inhabitants reluctantly gave direction to Kil-Carraig’s cottage.

High on a bare hill, Saor, dressed as the pilgrim he often pretended to be for his victims, came across the bizarre site of a structure of carved silver stone, consisting of two blocks, the smaller to the left of where he had stopped to look. There were no windows as such, but several slits to let in light.

Saor went up to the small oak door in the larger block and knocked. It was answered by an ailing man, doubtlessly Kil-Carraig himself. Saor could see upon his browned skin the scars of many battles, and a look in his eyes of weariness. He had the aura of a man no longer fit for any strife—that was, for Saor, an ideal target.

The old man asked Saor who he was and without saying a word, the brigand showed him the ring on his middle finger. It immediately conveyed to Kil-Carraig that he was a worshipper of Ishtar, the Earth goddess of healing, and travelling on a pilgrimage from the far north to the southern lands of Shem, as many Ishtarites did. Without further ado, Kil-Carraig let Saor in, and made clear his intent to feed the pilgrim ready for his continuing journey tomorrow. Saor had been right to gamble that the aging pirate had become more pious as he neared death.

Saor sat at the table in the larger block, also seemingly carved from the same rock as the cottage.

As soon as the old man placed the finely gilded knife and fork before him in preparation for his meal, Saor, at an experienced and ruthless speed, grabbed the former and with a brutal force ripped it across his host’s neck in a single swipe.

The old man stood in shock, grasping at the wheezing incision, the blood streaming down his smock. Saor pushed him back, and he fell flat upon the solid floor, before turning over and twisting into the shape of an unborn child. Within another a moment he quivered one last time and was dead, Saor confirming it with a kick.

Saor pilfered the rings from the corpse’s cooling fingers as a pool of blood formed and became calm, darkening in the stale air. Saor wiped the knife clean on the dead man’s smock and pocketed it with the fork. He then began to search the whole cottage from top to bottom. Within minutes the hidden pockets of his garments were so full of trinkets and coins that he had to use one of the old man’s leather satchels to hold further booty.

However, as he was inspecting underneath Kil-Carraig’s bed, his joyous sacking was interrupted by a strange creaking.

Saor immediately got to his feet, his dagger drawn.

He came back slowly into the main room of the block where the body was, and looked about. The creaking came again, and he shouted, “Where are you?! Show yourselves you creeping pigs!”

A cold chill went through him—what if the old man was still alive?

His eyes shot to the body—no, the old man, already stiff in life, was solid with mortality.

But, Saor noticed a curious thing: the pool of blood had disappeared. He stood above where it had been, and saw a slender crack in the silver stone. Taking a thumb, he rubbed against the old man’s ripped neck, and flicked a spot of fresh crimson to the floor. It landed near the crack and Saor watched it like a ravenous cat watched a field mouse.

The droplet was at first inert, tranquil, but as the seconds passed it began to bend in the light, and sluggishly it made its way across the surface, entering the crack as though it had made a conscious choice to do so. As it disappeared, the house creaked louder than before; in fact, it groaned like a wounded beast.

The blood, thought Saor, recalling the old tales drunken woodsmen told around dying fires. The gorgon… the vitality of the stone…

Saor screamed as the walls suddenly started to contort, and the house as a whole began to shrink into itself with a terrible and unceasing lamentation.

He ran to the door, but in the way it was shrinking with the house the shattered wood crumpled over itself, trapping him in. He tried the slits, but as they themselves shrivelled he could not even fit his head through. Retreating to the middle of the dwindling room, he beat and thrashed Kil-Carraig’s body as though he was the one responsible.

As the stone closed against his shoulders, Saor put his hands to the ceiling and begged the gods themselves for forgiveness, before his screams became louder than the undead gorgon’s howling, and filled the valley below, ending with a sharp, final cut of sound.

It is said these days that if you ascend the hills near Cloch you will find several unusual stone cubes, ranging from a foot to a few feet high, the largest of which having a skeletal hand poking up through a crevice in the apex, the immovable ring of Ishtar on its middle finger.

Ends

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Yggdrasil of Adasam Sortie at the Salt Sea
By Wendy Webb

Millennia have been spent in Hades,
Where Yggdrasil’s tree is rooted upside-down.
For this is the light zone beyond the sun,
Where magma flows free and belches rarely
Into the dark round earth.
I’m climbing now, the hard way,
Clanking those chains I’m Scrooge to part with,
Except nothing hurries my flight back
To gestating rock and sinews of my world.
I’m birthing after this long haunting trip,
Remembering that last time, when chains
Of armour plate and swords and shields
Rang across the valley to the living sea.
Salt phantoms now, across that ocean floor,
I long to sense those branches spreading down.
The thin sky’s hiding lizards, snakes and deities
Harping on about feather-light breath
Vanquishing our legion. Didn’t they hear
Plots of women, children, grown men crying.
Beyond the roots of sky to understand.
This ancient ruin’s nothing now: hanging
Palaces, richly draped like grapevines;
Wine flowed free.
I’m climbing now, so light as lava spreading,
Black sand of darkest deep leaps high
With fire. Soon these rocks will sink,
Buried with our legion. Salt markers – all –
ADASAM will sink beside its deepest Salt Sea.

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The Blind Warrior
Seven foes ready their spears
Seven fall unseen

By DJ Tyrer

Issue 67 – Fantastic Weather

Bronze
By Harris Coverley

skies bronze—thick and dense
an arenose alloy world
foundries in the clouds
drizzling down sharp flakes of death
upon luckless astronauts

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There are ghosts within that wind:
shouts through distant trees;
the siren screams of phone wires;
object disrespect –
children’s toys and neighbour’s tools;
upon our own porch
unoccupied chair rocking…
window pane whispers…
the unhinged door opening,
then closing behind,
some guests you’ve not invited.

By David Edwards

Snow Queen
By Aeronwy Dafies

Frozen beauty, heart
Mistress of the icy north
Hidden by snowfall
Wishes only to be loved
Ever thwarted by herself

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Fairy Tale
By Ken Poyner

The clouds are painted, but the moon polished. As the clouds keep drifting away, the painters tape off another section of sky. They consult on the particular hue for this tranche – are they depicting a seamless day of invincible uniformity, or portraying change, the beginning of darker or lighter or more entertaining days? There is no question with the moon. The moon circles unchanging. The phases come of big brother Earth stealing the moon’s sun. Polish it once, occasionally inspect for touch-up. The girl bonds to this work with energy to waste. It profits me: I have slept with her.

Ends

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The Truck in Oz
By K. A. Williams

The whirlwind lifted up me and my truck and sailed us through the air. I ain’t never been so sick to my stomach.

When the wind finally set us down, the truck bumped over something and took off. I heard yelling and looked in the rear view mirror at a bunch of midgets shaking their little fists. Something white and sparkly glittered on the road behind me. That must have been what I’d landed on. Wonder what it was?

Nothing seemed familiar. I didn’t think I was in my hometown anymore. Was that a scarecrow hanging up in a cornfield? Yep it was. And it turned its head to look at me as I passed. Creepy.

If I hadn’t been staring at the tin man standing in front of a tree with his axe frozen in mid-air, I might not have hit the lion that ran out into the road in front of me. But honestly I couldn’t stop the truck in time.

SMACK! I got out and checked the beast. Dead. I examined the road I’d been on. First time I ever seen one made out of yellow bricks. I drug the lion into the woods and covered it with leaves and some twigs.

I was fixing to get back in my truck when I noticed something in the sky. Was that a witch coming toward me on a broom? Yep. Ugliest woman I done ever seen. Just my type. I took off my cowboy hat when she landed in front of me. “Howdy ma’am.”

“Are you the one that killed my sister?”

Uh-oh. “Did she have on a sparkly white dress?”

“Yes.”

“Why ma’am it were an accident. My truck and me got picked up by a whirlwind that just sat us down where it pleased. I’m awful sorry.”

She smiled. It were a gruesome sight, my heart pounded in excitement.

“Don’t be sorry, I never liked her.”

“Is that right? How about giving me a reward then?”

“What kind of reward?”

“A kiss. That’s all I want. For now, anyway.” I winked.

She smiled again. “Well, what are you waiting on?”

I moved closer and kissed her. What we done after that ain’t nobody else’s business.

The End

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Weather Report
By Ken Poyner

The clouds kept coming down, kissing our ground. At first, the clouds simply touched down. Then they began to compact. They grew dense and it became hard to move about in them. It was as though trudging through water thigh deep, with the mist of clouds above. Finally, the tops of the clouds passed below eye level, and there was the sun. The clouds, still compacting, settled so low and hard that we could lift our feet out and walk on a macadam made of cloud alone. Nothing blocked the sun and we thought fearfully of the coming rainy season.

Ends

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Tornado From Oz
By DJ Tyrer

In reverse scenario
Twister spirals over the rainbow
Depositing a bemused witch
And a dozen irritating Munchkins
Atop a bland Kansas-dwelling farmer
Resulting in lawsuits, insurance claims
But – no quests, nor murder
Just a great deal of confusion
And, unending asylum claims

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Tornado
By Mark Hudson

The tornado was haemorrhaging
Over dim skies and towns
Thinning out the herd

Cutting through, reaping
Damaged nation, nothing new
Soon it will be old news

Houses demolished
An entire town laid flat
People sucked out of mobile homes

A jail in Kentucky affected
But nobody was able to escape
Not fair to the prisoners

Blonde haired blue eyed girl
Found abandoned in a field
Returned to her parents

Why do we question mortality?
We laugh at death
Till it’s our turn to go…

Issue 55 – The Hollow Earth

Hollow Earth entry:
Hidden polar openings
or through volcanoes

By DS Davidson

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All those Inner Earths,
concentric circles smaller
and smaller till nil

By David Edwards

Subterra; or, I Dream of Agartha
By Harris Coverley

I’ll believe as soon
This whole earth may be bor’d, and that the moon
May through the centre creep, and so displease
Her brother’s noontide with the Antipodes.”

Hermia, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III

Last night
Yet again
I dreamed of Agartha
Realm of realms
Beneath the outer shell of our Earth

Layers within layers
Planets within planets
Crusts within crusts

And between those rotating shells of the Earths
That race of giants are swinging
From enormous tree
To enormous tree
The vines of tensile steel

Our antediluvian brethren
A hundred feet high
Eyes like moons
Teeth like boulders
And minds of infinite
And perennial wisdom

Amongst the ruins of Hyperborea
Lost to our own exterior senses
When Man divided from Man
And our ancestors crept out
Through the frozen wastes
And on to the surface world

The great giants moving ever deeper
And downwards
Towards the eternal inner sun
That gives its immortalising glare

And all it takes
Is dream to join them
Ever so briefly…

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Hollow Earth Adventures
By DJ Tyrer

Beneath ersatz miniature sun
Hyperborean heroes long lost
To the pit below the Northern Lights
Quest through antediluvian ruins
And tree-fern jungles damp
Secret dwelling places of dragons
Thunder-lizards and other primordial life
Swordsmen, rogues, sorcerer-scientists
Seeking plunder, forgotten knowledge
Keen blade in one hand
Atomic pistol in the other
One final exultation of elder days
Ground to dust beyond myth
Upon the long-lost surface world

DJ Tyrer’s Supertrump and A Wuhan Whodunnit are available for free download

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Whence Hollow Earth’s illumination?
Mineral radiation?
Gaseous irruption?
Luciferian vegetation?
Riparian lava inundation?
Of all these, luminescent reflection
in geometric progression?

By David Edwards

underground ocean
playful plesiosaurs prey
on prehistoric remnants
surface explorers sail it
provide unusual repast

By DS Davidson

The Life Within Earth
By K. A. Williams

Subterranean
Ancient life flourishes here
Luminescent plants
Prehistoric man
Found passage through volcanoes
Survived the Ice Age
Flora and fauna
Untouched by chaos above
War does not threaten

Scifaiku and Haiku: A Poetry Collection – K. A. Williams

Limericks and Other Humorous Poems – K. A. Williams

Issue 51 – Arrogant Elves

Elvish arrogance
Born out of immortal lives
Never perishing

By Aeronwy Dafies

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Elder Elves
By DJ Tyrer

Disdainful of short-lived races
Arrogance born of age, power, knowledge
Elves saw the earliest ages
Certain they shall live to see the last
Outliving human civilisation, dwarf
Even in their most-decadent state
Remain masters of the arcane arts, mystic lore
Undying watchers of the world
Remaining till its final days

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The Elves
By Cardinal Cox

Every plant has its spirit – the mushroom
Has its goblins – Dryads for the fruit trees
Blodeuwedd brewed from seven different blooms
Mid-summer moon allows them to walk free

Noblest are elves who dwell in ancient mounds
Hidden amongst the sparse birch tree thicket
Lost travellers they invite underground
But do not take any offered trinket

Eat no food nor drink any Autumn wine
Accept no kiss that elf-maid might offer
Do not let them bind you with silver twine
And do not lay in any oak coffer

And when with dawn’s light you emerge at last
Pray you find not a century has passed

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Melvin the Elvin
By Mark Hudson

Melvin the Elvin was an arrogant elf,
he always ended up alone by himself.
Like Charlie Brown, he waited around,
till his friends were six feet underground.

The loneliest elf of the brood,
a little kid in a really bad mood.
He could not disguise his conceit,
until the elves began to know defeat.

The dwarves were taking over the forest,
and Melvin was a horologist.
An expert in watches and maps,
he knew how to set some traps.

He really knew the Elvin territory,
he would complete this story.
He was elected Elvin commander,
he was a real demander.

He employed Crossbows and swords,
he even gave the sacred ring of the lords.
He made the main swordsman named Frodo,
and an elf with an axe named Quasimodo.

The dwarves came on chariots of fire,
but elves fought bravely, making them tire.
The dwarves were fearful, facing surrender,
Melvin was named the main defender.

He was given the keys to the kingdom,
and went forever down in Wiki Fandom.
They made a video game in his honour,
and it turned out to be a real yawner.

The Legend of Melvin was forgotten,
and the battle that all the elves fought in.
The ancient manuscript collected dust,
hidden in a castle, in a dungeon of rust.

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Size Does Matter
By K. A. Williams

The tall haughty elves
Sneer at their distant cousins
Santa’s short helpers

Issue 44 – Sci-Fantasy

Robotic AI
Alive as any spirit
Built by Tinker Gnomes

By DS Davidson

Elves in Space
By DJ Tyrer

The primordial Elf-Dwarf war
Continues far from forest groves and mountain holds
In depths of space between stars
Hollowed-out asteroids versus delicate ships
Grown not made, organic, alive
Orbital bombardments and stellar spells
Bring doom to unsuspecting worlds
A brief flash of despair

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Magic Circles
(Any sufficiently advanced technology is undistinguished from magic – Arthur C. Clarke 1973)
By Cardinal Cox

There’s a resonance from CERN
Put your ear to the ground
To hear the hum – the AUM
Ring vibrates – singing to hidden
Masters – ripples out concentric
To encircle the world – tiny fungi
Shaking imperceptibly – their
Rhizomes reaching through loam
Touching old bones in ancient graves
And the mushrooms are eaten
World tilts slightly – magic sneaks
Back in – once stones were
Raised to forgotten gods –
Now the silicon and quartz are
Their homes again – Quantum
Entanglement replaces Frazers’
Law of Contagion – Telepathy
Is hacking another’s neural
Implants – Invisibility cloaks
Spun from nano-fibres of metamaterial

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Through cosmic portals
Sorcerers step between worlds
With wands and iPads

By Aeronwy Dafies

Rites of Way
By Harris Coverley

The towers of steel and stone went up
And they all fell fast
In a sprouting of mushrooms

For a millennia mankind lived in utter darkness
Minute in number
Poorer in skill
All mechanics rusted and useless
All technique lost
Not even a water clock could turn
Nor grain be milled

Power was a club or sharpened bone in hand
Not a unit of energy

In gradual shifts the shamans made their stride
And the wizards and the warlocks followed after—
Magic!
That was it!
The arts long forgotten with the coming of the machines

Spells cast against sickness
In favour of health

Hostilities to an enemy tribe
Small crops failing
And cattle perishing

Wars of enchantments
Charms against charms

The raising of ghouls
And the employment of beasts

The pooling of common blood
In wars of the mystical

The wizards grew fat
And the masses turned serfs

But explorers deep still carried on
Content to rediscover the older ways—
Fresh veins of copper, iron, lead, and coal revealed
The burning and the smelting
The rotation of cogs…

The wizards grew weak
And their oligarchy faded
As many gained riches on their own merits

The towers rose once more
Great stacks eructing filthy blackness
Vast twisting highways of concrete
Rolling with wheeled cages
Voices and visages blazing
Across the face of the Earth and far beyond
And mankind yet again strove to strike the stars…!

And the wizards become myths
Bedtime stories half-remembered
And mostly dull to tiring ears

But their arts remain still
Dormant in the recesses of human thought
Waiting to take pride of place
When the mushrooms sprout another time…

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Robotic huntsman
Quasi-mammal hunting hound
Pursue chimeras
Fantastic fire-breathing beasts
Through primordial jungles

By DJ Tyrer

The Unicorn from Uranus
By Mark Hudson

I took my spaceship to Uranus,
to have a latte and a Danish.
A silence greeted me in the café,
the clients observed me with dismay.

I pulled up to the counter, asking for service,
everybody seemed a bit nervous.
I asked a bloke sitting right next to me,
What is the nature of this mystery?”

The unicorn of Uranus has come to visit,
and his magical horn is exquisite.
A rarity, a magical aphrodisiac,
that will make you a lover with nothing to lack.”

How many people are seeking this quest?”
I asked, “Because I am the best!
I am the best bounty hunter ever,
and the unicorn’s horn will help me forever!”

No, you don’t dare!” replied the opponent,
It was originally mine, I own it.
The unicorn originally belonged to me,
but it broke loose and it got free.

If you steal my unicorn, just for a thrill,
it is only you I will have to kill.”
So I shot him with my computerized-laser beam,
and I was off to pursue my unicorn dream.

I punched unicorn into my spaceship GPS,
found him with very little stress.
Cut off his horn, he sounded maniacal,
but I saw his body was all mechanical.

I grinded the horn, to check if it was potent,
but the unicorn was about as useless as a rodent.
Then, the queen of Uranus appeared at my side,
and said, “Hey, Cowboy! Want to go for a ride?”

Suddenly the effects of the horn kicked in,
and the Queen of Uranus led me into sin.
It’s a long spaceship trip to go, very far,
on cruise control I enjoyed a love so bizarre!

Orcs on Bikes
By DS Davidson

Orcs armed with AKs
Terrifying biker hordes
Rampaging through urban warzones
Employed by Dark Lord mob bosses
For prosaic plots layered on greed
The magic having gone out of the world
Fantasy subordinated to progress
Warriors replaced by cops

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Lunar Dragons
By Aeronwy Dafies

On strange worlds
Beneath tapestries of blazing stars
Dragons fly down from their moons
Far from questing knights, cynics
Breathing essence instead of air
Magical and alive and free

Knomes
By Cardinal Cox

metre wide metal sphere – Knome
dwell within (they say) – swap
limbs depending on circumstances
or need – no visible sensory
outlets – inside (whatever it is)
that exist in the magma beneath
the crust – shiny ball maintains
pressure/temperature of outer layer
of core – our world might as
well be outer space to them
soil thin atmosphere of
mountain peaks – magnetic
fields probe surroundings
communicate – manipulate – notice
(if they can) iron in our blood
someone knits them coloured hats
to aid identification – tinsel
in the trim – they exchange
hats when no one is around
enjoying the foil strips’ distortion
of the magnetic flow

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Tame ghouls held on leash
Hungering for human flesh
Advance before tanks
Let loose to hunt enemy
Impervious to bullets

By DJ Tyrer

Issue 33 – Phantastes

Dunsany’s Dream
By Harris Coverley

Māna-Yood-Sushāī
archipelagic Brahma
maker of the worlds

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The Ninth Legion’s Last Patrol
By Andrew Darlington

hush now child, do not fear
close your eyes against the cold,
all that’s bad will disappear
as phosphorescent moons grow old,
disregard that phantom tread
as ghost-wolves howl against the night,
it’s only tales freighted with dread
of things we whisper out of sight,
the legion of the ninth still roam
beyond their corpses’ pale endeavour
seeking out their lost way home
although their march must take forever,
for even though all roads must lead
their last campaign will never relent
the druid’s curse will intercede
for this sad forlorn revenant
before the dead can reach their Rome,
before the dead can reach their Rome,
before the dead can reach their Rome,
hush how child, never fear
close your eyes against the fright,
don’t see those figures coming near
my hand stands firm against this night

The Statue
By Ed Ahern

The man wore his clothes well and wasn’t ugly. Valerie, bored by arty conversations, weaved through the museum exhibits and stood in front of him.

Tell me something I won’t believe.”

He smiled. “I’m boring. I don’t drink, smoke, gamble, or do drugs.”

No, that’s sad but believable.”

His smile turned wistful.

The model for this statue and I were lovers.”

The plaque says the statue is two millennia old. It’s impossible.”

There you go.”

Tell me more.”

She left me because of my profession.”

Oh?”

I weigh souls using a feather.”

What about mine?”

Don’t die for a while.”

Ends

Ed Ahern resumed writing after forty odd years in foreign intelligence and international sales. He’s had over three hundred stories and poems published so far, and six books. Ed works the other side of writing at Bewildering Stories, where he sits on the review board and manages a posse of nine review editors.

https://www.twitter.com/bottomstripper
https://www.facebook.com/EdAhern73/
https://www.instagram.com/edwardahern1860/

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The Dragon Kings
By Lee Clark Zumpe

Before the sun awoke in the east,
upon these lands there was but one beast
one creature from which all life did spring
Azthol was he: the first Dragon King.

First, he spawned trees, for the land seemed so bare;
next he blew storm clouds into the air;
his rain-heavy breath flew on the breeze,
soon followed lakes, and rivers and seas.

Tired from his labours, and lonely was he;
the Dragon King yearned for company.
He called all his strength, fluttered his wings,
and with one word spawned all living things:

Elves in dark woods; dwarves in mountain holes;
men in foul camps plagued by orcs and trolls;
and a dragon brood, ne’rmore alone,
a dynasty set to claim the throne.

But his dragon spawn were not as wise,
their malice concealed only by lies –
Til Azthol’s death, when they paused no more,
unsettling the lands with a cruel war.

Race against race, a million lives spent:
now some may rejoice, some may lament:
Heard no more, the clap of mighty wings
deep in the in the halls of the Dragon Kings.

Lee’s work has earned several honourable mentions in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror collections. As entertainment editor for Tampa Bay Newspapers, his work has been recognized repeatedly by the Florida Press Association, including a first place award for criticism in the 2013 Better Weekly Newspaper Contest.

Learn more at http://www.leeclarkzumpe.com

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Witch Of The Well
By K. A. Williams

I left my hut when I heard a galloping horse. By the time the knight rode up, I had already dropped the bucket into the well.

“Quickly woman!” the knight yelled.

I pulled up the water bucket and held the ladle out to him. He grabbed it and drank. Then I unhooked the bucket and poured water into a trough for his horse.

The knight pointed to the three trails that led away from the well. “Which one goes to the dragon’s cave?”

“The one on the right,” I said, and stroked the armour on his leg.

“How dare you touch me! If I wasn’t in a hurry, I’d give you a beating!”

I didn’t doubt it. Every knight who came this way was rude to me, and none had tipped for the water. He rode off quickly but I knew a shortcut through the woods and hurried toward the cave to watch.

I got there and hid behind a big rock just as the knight dismounted his horse. He pulled a sword from its sheath and called, “Come out of that cave and meet your doom, dragon!”

A big red dragon strode majestically through the cave mouth. The knight started forward with his sword. As he walked, pieces of his armour began to fall off.

The knight stopped and looked back at the trail of fallen armour. When his visor fell off, I moved toward the horse.

“Stay away from my horse! You bewitched my armour and I’ll deal with you after I’ve killed this dragon!”

Stupid knight, just like all the rest of them. I ignored him and grabbed the reins of the frightened animal. I whispered a few magic words. The beast calmed down and I mounted him.

A knight’s horse and saddle always fetched a good price. I also had other things for sale to decent folk who came to the well. That was most everyone except for all knights, which I happily sent the dragon’s way and got rewarded.

“Return for your piece of gold in an hour, witch. You know I like to play with my food a while first,” said the dragon.

The End

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Heroic
By DJ Tyrer

Hero’s skilful blade
Kingdom freed from dragon’s wrath
Maiden’s gratitude
King’s sin of complicity
Glossed by half-kingdom reward

Pining
By Harris Coverley

across the grey sands
looking for the goddess but—
just broken seashells

Issue 31 – Goblin Market

Disorderly piles
Filth, refuse, treasures galore
Goblin marketplace

By DS Davidson

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Gobble it up!
By Mark Hudson

Look at this hobgoblin market,
everything looking like a bargain.
Goblins hocking wares, Bark it!
Selling just like textbook jargon.

Want an E.T movie poster?
Want a Goonies Lunch Box?
Want a Gremlins drink coaster?
Want a goblin grandfather clock?

It’s all here at this strange bazaar,
buy a monstrous rock guitar.
You’ll never figure out the chords,
or take a look at the sharp swords.

Got pests in your house? Is it your spouse?
Get this fool-proof vampire mouse!
She will be climbing on top of a stool,
or do you wish to be more cruel?

Goblins offering goblin food,
be forewarned; it’s a bit crude!
Taste the goblin fish and chips,
get a massage with chains and whips.

You can go to the dungeon below,
the stakes are high; but the prices are low!
Buy some illegal goblin beer,
wear an eye-patch and belch with a sneer!

If you want to drag the kids along,
be careful to watch who they’re among!
And if they got lost at the bazaar,
that’s less passengers in your car!

Remember to find what suits you the most,
you might even be followed home by a ghost!
Returning home, might bring you despair,
your wallet is empty, the true thing that scares!

Goblins For Sale
By K. A. Williams

“So you want to buy a goblin, eh?”
“Yes, unless you’re giving them away.”

The seller made them stand in line for me.
Ugliest creatures I ever did see.

Short with green skin, long noses, and big ears.
Lots of jagged teeth that grow sharper with years.

I studied each creature, both young and old,
picked out the right one, and paid with some gold.

“I’ll take him off the group chain. Are you sure?
He’s mean, and their bites are hard to cure.”

“Don’t worry, I’m a wizard, I’ll be okay.”
“What do you want with a goblin, by the way?”

“I’m also an artist, I’m painting him.”
The goblin growled and I thought he was dim.

“I’m going to paint your picture, not you.”
“Then you don’t need to fear me, if that’s true.
But a model should be paid. Set me free.”
“When I’m done with my painting. Certainly.”

The goblin and I left the market right then,
and he gave his seller an evil grin.

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Hobnobblin’ with the Goblin
By Harris Coverley

I saw the goblin at the end of the bar in my local, refusing the stool and instead the blue-green claws of his legs grasping the handle running along the outside—he looked like a novelty light fixture. I sidled up him and asked, “So, is the goblin market back in town already?” And he replied, “You know you’re the third arsehole who’s asked me that.” I pacified him with a fresh drink, and he got to talking about his everlasting hunt for gold, his kidnapping and ransoming of maiden’s children, and his campaign of spoiling villager’s crops. And I talked about my graft in the insurance game—it wasn’t too dissimilar. The trouble came when he began to scrape through the flat white hairs on his scalp and pick out blood red fleas to snack on. The barmaid came up to us and barked, “No outside food!” And this caused a row so nasty it ended with him throwing his pint glass to the floor and slouching off out. I followed after him, but there was nothing in the street, not even a shadow of the sprite, except for something in the gutter that snatched my eye—a small flyposter, pink set, water-faded, emblazoned with its subject in tall and slim gothic lettering: GOBLIN MARKET 2021—1st to 15th August—Rossetti Square—ONLY SERIOUS TRADERS AND BUYERS ADMITTED—goblinmartonline.co.uk

at the bar’s far end
hobnobblin’ with the goblin
Jägerbombs on him

Midnight Market
By Cardinal Cox

Hacked CCTV to repeat images from a previous night
Hulking steroid-ripe ogres standing as
Bouncers – taking bribes from traders for pitches
A wall of cardboard scraps requesting crash space
For displaced folks from flooded fens
And family feuds; or information;
Or small-ads; or offering services
Flyers for gigs in front rooms
To raise the week’s rent
Zine peddler swap meet on blankets
Open bags – curling corners – crinkled covers
Book dealers on trestle tables – actual books!
Richard Allen – William Burroughs
Sven Hassel – Lydia Lunch
Each of the market’s four corners has
Music stalls with crackly CD players
Blaring vintage skipping disks
Cassette tapes for amulets hung round neck
Fragrant clouds from vegan fajitas & root stew
Laddeled into mugs, bowls or old containers
Punters pull from prepared packs
Techttoos of smart ink sigils
Sewn into proffered nervous skin
Engineers armed with soldering irons
And volt metres upgrading old
Handsets and headsets and holosets
Neural inputs flushed – cleaned – re-bored
Widened for greater bandwidth
Pharmacologist/shaman with herbs
And fungi switching on illumination
For the confused – the cursed – the possessed
Fibre optic torques for those with aspirations
Pick-pockets and secret police
Retired ravers and righteous Rastafarians
Tourists and ’tween fare taxi drivers
Sipping bitter black acorn coffee
Badges of forgotten bands – Destructors
Black Marias – Evil Macaroni – The Now
Medals from the Relief of Euston
The siege of Sizewell – Battle of Stonehenge
Some veterans legacy pawned for food
Sounds of seventy languages
Slang – cant – machine code
Two urban foxes with their limited
Vocabulary – cognitive enhancing
Chemical having entered the food chain
Wise salmon in distant rivers
Rat towns aggressively occupying London
Underground – and the foxes – mangey
Begging scraps from drunkards
Cobblers repairing boots beside the bar
While customers wince a home-brew beer
Graffiti artists co-operating on a mural
Of the market’s legendary founder – Buddha-fat
Sadhu-hirsute – third-eye blazing
Wide upon his forehead – collage crew
Ready to add Dadaist headlines
Seamsters repurposing scavenged clothes
With needle and filament wire
Mats for break-dancers spinning for coins
Street poets and rappers battling
With insults and invective – dumping
Fly-tipped verbal garbage on each
Others boasts worthy of flyting skalds
Everywhere the range of humans
Overseen by Neander-DNA expressing
Goblinz – there’s a satyr with horns
Amongst their hair – djinn gang boss
With rakshasa bodyguard gifted
Personal space – people augmented with
Hardware – software – greyware – pinkware
Smart drugs – gene spliced
And everywhere the call
Come buy! Come buy! Come Buy!

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Goblin Hoard
By DJ Tyrer

Treasures piled high
Sold low
Coins scattered beneath
Goblin feet of
Scurrying salesmen
Seeking a quick profit
Eye for a sale
Keen to be gone
Before owner returns
Blazing dragon flame

Dragon Egg
By K. A. Williams

Dragon egg for sale
Price is negotiated
Excited buyer waits
Baby ostrich hatches

Issue 30 – Hic sunt dracones… part two

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Here Were Dragons
By DS Davidson

Once dragons ruled here
No longer
The poetic beauty of living flame
Overthrown by prosaic utility
The high-flying by the earthbound
The fire gone out of the world
Leaving only memories
Memories that fade with time

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Pytho of Chthon
By Harris Coverley

serpentine figure
fiery herpetology
sweet god of chaos
until felled by Apollo
at the centre of the Earth

dragon-4417431_640Notes on the Unfortunate Extinction of Dragons
By Lee Clark Zumpe

Book 1

Little is known about the mating practices
of the predominant species:
the Welsh Red, for instance, disappeared
before a single nest could be found.

It is generally presumed that females laid eggs
once every two hundred years –
genetics predisposed them to small broods
consisted of no more than six young.

A reliable medieval source, however, reports
on the infamous lindwurm of Klagenfurt:
that beast sired a clan of twenty
two-legged, winged dragons over one century.

Tragically, locals butchered the beast’s offspring,
fearing for the welfare of their farms;
only a handful were said to have survived
the angst-fueled bravado of overzealous knights.

Biologists assert that to maintain a steady population,
to ensure an adequate food source for succeeding generations,
reproduction likely only occurred once or twice
during the ordinary dragon’s life cycle.

For thousands of years, dragons topped the food chain
in each milieu they occupied
they remained untouched by disease;
they knew no competition from rival carnivores.

When finally faced with a threat to their existence
by the emergence of human civilization,
dragons simply lacked the numbers necessary
t
o sustain a prolonged fight against extinction.

Book 2

Dragonologists unanimously lament the scarcity
of skeletal fragments for clinical research:
Unlike comparatively common dinosaur fossils
(which evidentially may
be found in anyone’s backyard twenty feet
beneath the spot where the previous
owners buried their beloved pets),
dragon bones are as hard to find as Atlantean coins,
an unflustered elferingewort and harpy feathers.

Anthropologists studying prehistoric medicine
offer an explanation for the troublesome shortage,
citing excavations in Europe and Asia:
the ancient shaman sought dragon bone
for its alleged healing properties –
moreover, ground into a fine power,
combined with unknown components,
dragon bones yield a rumored fertility tool
coveted as recently as the 17th century.

Recently, dubious reports have circulated –
countries are said to have stockpiled dragon bones,
amassing them in high-security military facilities:
concocted by conspiracy theorists,
stories suggest specialists seek to perfect
All plain unsubstantiated fiction spawned
by paranoid individuals with avid imaginations.

 

Lee’s work has earned several honourable mentions in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror collections. As entertainment editor for Tampa Bay Newspapers, his work has been recognized repeatedly by the Florida Press Association, including a first place award for criticism in the 2013 Better Weekly Newspaper Contest.

Learn more at http://www.leeclarkzumpe.com

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Dragonslayer
By DJ Tyrer

Ground shudders, shakes, quakes
Mighty dragon devouring
Kingdom helpless falls
Shining sword in hero’s hand
How the mighty are fallen

Originally published in Tigershark issue 19, Autumn 2018

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Two Opinions
By David Edwards

Diptych

Dragons went extinct
not from dragon hunts
(dragonslayer organized)
nor natural selection
nor from climate change
nor from falling stars–
too many, too strange–
but indifference.
Human beings simply found
(capriciousness it appears)
other things around
more fearsome to fear.

Haiku

Dragons never died,
they simply shrank in size. They’re
now called ‘dragonflies’.

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I Know No George…
By Harris Coverley

I know no George…
I do not recognise whom you speak of
So persistently

I was born in the darkness
Before the beginning of time
With Chronos
As he made Aether and Chaos
And the Egg of Phanes

In the chaoskampf I was slain
By a thunder-god barely formed
He the force of Order
Me his counterpart

I ran alongside Huwawa
As Enkidu took his head

They called me Leviathan
When I placed my tail in my mouth
And wrapped it around the pillars of the Earth

Against Zeus I had my myriad heads seared off
And was banished to Tartarus
Like a common Titan

But I know no George
So please don’t ask me again…

Under the Pharaohs I was treated poorly
Spat upon and fettered by the priests
My waxen effigies burned
And forced to lie below the horizon

In old Hindoostan I was struck down
By that usurping Indra
My fortresses destroyed
And my rivers stolen from underneath me

And in my greatest shame:
Beowulf did take his dirty vengeance
And plough his pathetic dagger into me

That killer of an innocent child
And his poor, grieving mother!
Such an immortal disgrace!

But as I say: I know no George
You must be thinking of someone else
And I wish you would cease asking…

Imprisoned now in overblown
And garish heraldry
For all eternity

But still, I shall say a final time:
I know no George, I know no George…

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Lunch
By K. A. Williams

Dragonslayer
Sneaks into a cave
A blast of fire
Toasted slayer
The dragon’s favourite dish

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Issue 29 – Hic sunt dracones… part one

Here Be Dragons
By David Babatunde Wilson

Sometimes, in ancient days
Maps bore the words
Here be Dragons”
In unknown lands
Where adventures lay

Sometimes, in my heart
I feel dragons
When I see your face
And dream of the unknown
Adventures ahead

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Here Be Dragons
By DS Davidson

Hidden from the world
More cunning than men
Dragons hide
In secret corners
And on unknown isles
Waiting
Waiting
Biding their time
Till the day no more slayers
Humanity grows too weak
Flabby, fearful
Then to re-emerge
Resume their crowns
In a deluge of prismatic flame

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first-born, flame-born, wyrms
wings wide, scintillating, flame
source of awe, terror
in talons hold life and death
wisdom and devastation

By Aeronwy Dafiesdragon-1969052_640

Cyberian Dragon
By Cardinal Cox

drowsy – lolling across cryptocurrency
hoard looted from datamine
each of the silicon-mix obsidian scales
etched with microcircuit processor
silver eye orbs function as inverse
VR – projecting out into the dark
fibre-optic nervous system filled
with light – liquid nitrogen
blood cooling hard-drive heart
ready in fragment of a second
to go flaming against either troll
or knight in blockchain mail

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Dragonfire
By DJ Tyrer

Alien dragon
Mythic star-straddling entity
Flesh like blazing plasma
Scales of deep-space ice
Breath like comets
Or solar flares
Blazing across the heavens
Cosmic dragonfire

Originally published in Aphelion webzine issue 236, February 2019

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Rainbow Valley
By Nieske den Heijer

Not long after the dragon had landed on top of Mount Everest, several channels were live broadcasting it to all corners of the world. Cameras attached to drones tried to catch every movement of the enormous limbs, and the pearlescent glimmer of pearly scales against the snow.

And then they spoke, greeting the human race as a whole and offering their help. They had seen that the Earth was in trouble and promised pearls of wisdom to the people who would climb up to ask their questions. But be quick, they would only be staying a short while.

Immediately the world went wild. Tibet and Nepal tried to remind the world that such a thing as ‘climbing permits’ existed, but the hoards of people were unfathomed by such technicalities. The same masses were also prepared to disregard any regulations, and common sense, for this opportunity.

Some of the first climbers were altruistic humans, asking about climate change, education, equality or medicine. These people, most of whom made it back down, quickly dispersed, with a strange glow to their skin and a clear purpose.

Sadly, most that followed them were inclined towards selfishness. Especially the rich, who were by now the only ones who could get their hands on mountaineering gear or could pay the steep fees that a Sherpa could now charge. There were also the people with the least experience, and who, overcome by cold and envy, started falling over left and right.

A rumble came from the summit, as the dragon laughed. “Ah, the first few made me so hopeful for the human race, but the rest of you… ah the rest of you. I now know what I need to know, thank you very much.” They stretched their legs, scales glittering in the sunlight, which caused a global sigh from the people watching the news. Then they spread their leathery wings and a shudder went through the massive body as it readied for take-off. A few people on the summit begged for them to stay, and others screamed as they realised what was about to happen.

The dragon pushed off, the downwind from the wings pushing tons of snow downwards. A jumble of colourful snowsuits made their way down the mountain, in a strange way mirroring the gleam of the scales that caught beams of sunlight as the dragon flew off to wherever it had come from. Then the cameras went black.

Ends

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Foolheart
By Harris Coverley

“o’er there be dragons”
“I fear nothing!”―ended up
crunchy with ketchup

 

Want tales of dragons and slayers?

Watch out for Crunchy With Ketchup – coming soon from Wolfsinger Publications