Issue 92 – Gremlins!

Negotiation
By Ken Poyner

I’ve got the gremlins locked downstairs.
Being simple creatures of needs and wants,
It is easy to lure them into any dark corner
With the promise of prey within.
My neighbors do not know my prowess
At capturing ephemeral cryptids.
By now they have judged my home
A faithful prison, and a likely empty one.
We negotiate upstairs: wine and pleasantries,
Unknown pastries placed in politically
Precise rounds and flourishes. Give
And take. Everything starts
With knowing I can set the gremlins free.

Vengeance Green
By Harris Coverley

I found a gremlin
In the sink
Trying to make
An awful stink

I pried him out
With a fork
He screamed and spat
And was to talk:

“How dare you treat
Me in this way!
Carry on an’
You’ll rue the day!”

I tossed him through
The backyard door
Cursing him out
Forevermore

He did return though
In the night
Through the catflap
In vengeful flight

In what must’ve
Taken hours:
He pulled the petals
Off the flowers

He crammed the corners
Full of dust
And caused the
Cutlery to rust

He scrambled up
The TV signal
Poured wax into
My ear canal

He broke the light
On the microwave
And gave the front
Doormat a shave

My breeding Persian
Cat a spay
And as for the toilet…
I dare not say

The lesson here
Is clear to see:
Never let
The bastards free!

If you find one in
Your waste disposal
Here is my oh-so
Modest proposal:

Use not a fork
To make it gone —
Turn the damn
Disposal on!

Final Flight
By DJ Tyrer

sit in window seat
relax and enjoy the view
gremlin on engine

Defending Opportunity
By Ken Poyner

Before he invests in expanding his factory, personnel, and production, Quibble plans to assess the need for his folding gremlin cages. There could be both practical and local custom impediments to successfully marketing such a lifestyle changing invention. The cages are light and portable, but will they be seen as durable? No one wants to cage a gremlin, only to have him escape angry and more determined. What if the practice of caging gremlins shades as socially retrograde? Progress has been halted by spleen. Quibble creates focus groups, half gremlin, half victim. In consensus, there will be his marketing lane.

Ends

https://kpoyner.com/
https://barkingmoosepress.com/

Gremlins
By Cardinal Cox

Float invisible in the Middle Air
Subtle matter so that light can flow through
The gathering clouds above are their lair
But disturb them – they react as they do

Bright coloured kites and they will break the string
Balloons – the silk envelope will be cut
To the plucked tightness of ropes they will sing
Verses wishing our waiting grave was shut

But aeroplanes earn their utter ire
Ripping engine covers and wing edges
Falling from the sky all wrapped in fire
Crashing on fields – igniting hedges

Gremlins spotted as balls or discs of light
Putting aerial endeavours to flight

Gremlins on Vacation
By Mark Hudson

Florida was my destination;
to take my winter vacation.
January cold to leave behind;
lay in the sun with peace of mind.

I got on the plane, sat in my seat,
and put out my suitcase.
But who was I to meet,
a gremlin was looking at my face!

He popped out of my bag,
and he really had me taunted.
The contents of my bag were in rags,
that gremlin left me haunted.

So I sat by the window seat,
I thought I’d sleep or something.
They were passing out snacks to eat;
when a gremlin hung on to the wing!

I thought, am I all alone?
In seeing this gremlin as a sight?
Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Is this sabotage of the flight?

We got to the sunshine state,
and I forgot about the creatures.
We unpacked, went and ate,
at a restaurant called Arthur Treacher’s!

When I got my main course,
it was a bunch of fried fish.
I bit in with a bit of remorse,
a gremlin jumped out, gave me a kiss!

I went to the swimming pool,
thought I’d escape the critters.
But the gremlins were cruel,
they ended up giving me the jitters.

Now I’m back in icy Illinois,
nowhere else I want to go man.
The only monster here to annoy,
is the abominable snowman!