Issue 28 – Amazing Vacations

Take your submarine
Holiday in Atlantis
Nice enough, but damp

By Aeronwy Dafies

 

Best Vacation Implants
By K. A. Williams

Walking on the Moon
Sightseeing in Atlantis
Riding a dragon

 

Lubberland
By Harris Coverley

to the west of Spain
fair Cockayne — rivers of wine
facedown in vomit

 

The Beach On Tiragell
By K. A. Williams

Twin moons illuminated the beach. When clouds briefly blocked the light, I could still hunt seashells because they glowed in the dark. I had my choice of the biggest and brightest ones because not many other people were on this stretch of beach far away from the hotels.

I was thrilled when I found a big green and blue striped shell. I picked it up. It squirted wet sand into my face and squelched. The device in my ear translated, “Throw me back in the ocean, you alien!”

I wiped the sand from my eyes and threw the bossy thing out to sea. After that I made sure the shells were empty before placing them into my bag.

I could hear the surf and something else too. I pulled zooms from my pocket and focused them on the water.

Little merpeople were riding waves in toward the shore and jumping off before they hit. And laughing. I watched them surf until they got tired and returned to the ocean depths.

As I pocketed my zooms, the sand heaved nearby. Suddenly a creature popped out. It looked like a giant lizard and headed straight toward me.

There was nowhere to hide.

I was scared until he spoke. “Aren’t you the one who asked the desk for a midnight pickup? I’m Jathorg, your ride.”

Then, I noticed the saddle. “I can’t breathe under the sand. You’ll have to travel above ground.”

“That’s all right. Get on.”

I slipped my bag full of precious seashells over my shoulder, climbed onto his back and hung onto the saddle horn as Jathorg ran toward the hotel.

I was booked on the next transport for home and would really miss the beach on Tiragell.

The End

Minds reincarnate
Holiday in the future
Mingle with mankind

By DJ Tyrer

 

Time Travel Trip
Or, Geoffrey Chaucer and the Flying Saucer
By Mark Hudson

I was on vacation, partly research,
when I came upon a church.
It was located near Canterbury,
looking for Chaucer’s cemetery.

An American scholar, looking to learn,
the life of English writers, and visit their urn.
I visited the grave of Geoffrey Chaucer,
when I got pulled up in a flying saucer.

I was greeted by jolly green men,
saying, “Would you like to go back again?”
Just when I thought I was getting crabby,
I was stolen from Westminster Abbey!

We sailed around the town of Picardy,
and the Martians passed a fifth of Bacardi.
Then they passed around a flask of wine,
and said, “We going to party like it’s 1399.”

We hung out with Lionel of Antwerp,
and then the Martians started to burp.
Lionel said, could you watch that belch?
It sounds distinctively like the Welch.”

Then we saw the English vernacular,
I said to the Martians, “how spectacular!
might i also get to see Venice?
And see if they yet have invented tennis?’

The Martians said, “No, we took you too far!
now, we’re taking you back to Mars!
We’re taking you through an outer-space portal,
where along with Chaucer, you will be immortal!”

As I read The Cantebury Tales very thorough,
I read the Martian Tales – by Edgar Rice Burroughs!
Both writers were the kings of mighty Mars,
and there was my destiny – right with the stars!

Across universe
Distant vacation planet
Hungry bugs visit

By DS Davidson

 

Another planet
Strange form oddly arousing
Holiday romance

By DJ Tyrer