The Kiss
By Ken Poyner
I do not remember ever being a prince, nor ever wanting to be one. Solitude, hidden in the damp grass that grows in two inches of swamp water awaiting the hapless insect to crawl or fly within tongue’s reach. I never wanted anything more. It was you, princess, who had grandiose expectations. My thoughts were moments of reaction. Yours cross time and causality, tethering beginnings and endings. Your fantasies ensnare other’s worlds. Then the capture, the kiss, and I am a character in your time-line, a minion dropped into your version of history yet-to-be. A role. Not one I wanted.
Cheat
By Aeronwy Dafies
In prospect of her marriage day
Maiden signed her unconceived child away
Then, complained, “It’s unfair, this unholy mess!”
Said the dwarf, “A loophole: If my name you can guess…”
He vanished away and hid in his hovel
Imagining how the new princess would grovel
But the dwarf was just a little daft
And sang his name as he danced and laughed…
Was overheard by a passing squire
Who hurried to the princess high in her spire
So she said to the dwarf, “I don’t know how to begin…
“A random guess… oh… Rumpelstiltskin!”
Bad Day For Rapunzel
By K. A. Williams
Roger lived in a poor kingdom whose only income was taxes squeezed out of the even poorer peasants.
But he knew how to help the kingdom. Word was that a witch had imprisoned King Leopold’s daughter in a tower and her father was offering 500 gold coins to her rescuer.
He searched weeks for a tower and finally found one, but there was no door. A young maiden was brushing her hair which hung out of the only window. If he stood on his horse he could reach the long golden strands.
“Ouch!” Rapunzel said as he climbed up her hair. “That hurts.”
Roger slid into the window and pulled out his sword.
She cringed.
“Relax. I’m just going to cut your hair off and make a rope. I’ll tie it to that bedpost. Then I’ll carry you down on my back.”
“Thank you. My father, King Ferdinand, will reward you by marrying us. You shall be a prince.”
“Isn’t your father King Leopold?”
“No, that’s Rachel. She’s in a different tower. The same witch has imprisoned us both.”
Roger sheathed his sword, grabbed Rapunzel’s hair and jumped out of the window.
“Ouch! Why are you leaving?”
“I’m going to rescue Rachel instead. Her father is offering 500 gold coins for her return.”
He reached the ground and let go of her hair.
She leaned out the window. “Don’t leave me here! Don’t you want to be a prince?”
Roger mounted his horse and looked up. “I’m already a prince, but I’ll tell the next knight I see where you are.”
The End
The Apple Girl
By Goran Lowie
when a childless king berated his queen
for not giving him any children
she asked in despair
why she couldn’t bear
children as trees
could bear apples.
after nearly a decade
she finally gave birth
horrified to find
not a son
but an apple.
For Three Beans
By Ken Poyner
Quibble unloaded the magic beans on a yokel named Jack, who left him a cow in the bargain. Quibble knows almost nothing about cows. This one seems happy to stand in the yard, shearing grass. Quibble understands the worth of the cow resides in milking. Though a mammal of different feather, Quibble can be sustained by this animal’s milk. He will have to find someone to extract it. Might the milk be magic? Likely no more than the beans, but best to be sure. Perhaps the milking agent can be paid in product, and Quibble can safely gauge the outcome.
Once…
By Harris Coverley
Once upon a merry time
There was a maiden fair and graced
Hair up which horny suitors climbed
Until it blew up in her face:
One way too fat the journey made —
Out the window the price she paid!
Once upon a merry time
Three pigs lived three houses true
When faced with that bad wolf prime
To his amazement they all flew!
For pigs have wings in fancy tales
(And can be seen thanks to the ale)
Once upon a merry time
Two siblings strolling through the woods
And found occasion for a crime:
Robbing an old woman of her goods!
Her candied walls, table and chairs
Her life too in the oven unspared!
Once upon a merry time
Strolling through some different woods
Some young red hood late for teatime
An inexpert wolf out for blood
Poor lupine done in by a kid
Throat slashed with wicker basket lid
Once upon a merry time
A sleeping beauty amongst the bush
A prince fighting through the grime
Kiss lain upon lips in a rush
“Bastard, I was sleeping!” she did say
“I’ll never doze now—so go away!”
View From Atlantis 