Dour Dwarves!
Politically Incorrect
this term… call them “morose,
yet calm, little
persons.”
By David Edwards
Seven Dwarf Runes of Alvissmal
By Cardinal Cox
Seven runes of the folk beneath the ground
Who call our cloud painted sky Dripping Hall
And as for the white bone bright moon so round
This jewel is named The Gleamer by all
Of their race – though these delvers curse the sun
Deceiver of Dvalin is their name
For the storm wraught sea they have only one
Word – Deep – a thing they cannot hope to tame
Their friend fire is The Burner – they know
To use it to make such magical things
While night is The Weaver of Dreams that shows
Comfort to the poor and horrors to kings
And calm is the last rune these miners say
For that gift is The Shelter of Day
Greed and Gold
By Nieske den Heijer
“A beard has she, my lady love
Female below, much hair above”
The humans in the tavern burst into laughter, as the bard on stage took a bow. A few coins made it into the hat he had lying before him, and he took that as an incentive to lead everyone into a rowdy song about hairy dwarven females.
***
At the back of the tavern in a dark corner sat a group of dwarves, all of them sporting elaborately braided beards, adorned with beads. They did not participate in the human merrymaking that was going on, but quietly enjoyed their mugs of ale.
A young elf walked past them and suddenly stopped: “Excuse me master dwarves, would you like me to ask the tavern owner if he could tell the bard to sing something less offensive?”
The dwarves looked at each other for a moment: “Pray, why would you do that?”
“He is insulting your wives?”
The dwarves laughed quietly, “Oh young one, you have not had a lot of contact with dwarves have you? Those humans are insulting that which does not exist, and that does not truly upset us.”
The elf looked each dwarf in the face, some avoided his gaze.
The dwarf closest to the elf clasped their mug a little tighter. “This is not the perfect place to explain, but suffice it to say that we dwarves only learned about males and females when we first came into contact with humans and elves. Most of us refer to ourselves as male, so as to not confuse the humans.”
Another dwarf piped in: “The beards help.” This caused the entire table to laugh. “And no worries, we have our own way of dealing with the bard. But your offer is most kindly appreciated, please have a drink on us. Oh, and if humans switch the humour from dwarves to elves, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.”
“Thank you sirs” said the elf, “I mean masters, I mean… you know.”
“You are very welcome, enjoy your evening friend elf.”
***
Later that evening, the leader of the dwarves aimed to pay their drinking bill in gold, just as the bard was counting his earnings at the bar.
“It seems that you have been richly rewarded for the songs you entertained us with, human” said the dwarf and ran their hands over their beard. It was only now that the bard saw the golden adornments, which were a stark contrast to the meagre pile of copper in front of him.
The human bard sputtered something and made to turn away, his face turning red.
The dwarf put a hand on his shoulder: “Now human, contrary to popular belief, we dwarves do not enjoy holding grudges. So maybe we can come to an agreement on your song choice for tomorrow evening?”
The bard looked surprised, and even more surprised when a few silver coins were pushed into his hand.
“Come talk to us tomorrow morning over breakfast?”
“Gladly master dwarf” said the bard, his eyes gleaming at the prospect.
***
Later as the dwarf returned to their companions: “I still find it amusing that they call us greedy, when they are the ones who change their opinions based on coin.”
Ends
Dwarves’ dour demeanours
concealing a hidden mirth
as rocks hide jewels
By DJ Tyrer
View From Atlantis 